Sunday, September 17, 2006

Felon Puppy

I was unaccountably sleepy this afternoon and had dozed off shortly before Sarcasm Girl took the Em-dog out for a drag. I woke when she returned, dashing up the stairs demanding to talk to me. "It's really important!" she said gravely. So I prised my eyes open and asked what the problem was.

Apparently, she took the dog down the street to the corner store so she could buy a Mocha Frappucino. On the way, Emily and SG fell into conversation with a couple of people at a table at one of the local coffee-and-breakfast joints. The couple were much taken with Emily's beauty and charm, and SG was much taken with their admiration of our dog, and no one noticed, until it was in her mouth and half-gobbled down, that the dog was eyeing one woman's grilled cheese sandwich.

Fortunately the people seemed to think this was charming, too. (You can get away with a lot when you're young and cute, I'll tell you). Sarcasm Girl, apparently under the impression that a grilled cheese sandwich might poison the dog, dragged her home forthwith to report to me. Since that time Emily has had an outing to the dog park where she ran her skinny butt off; she is now lying asleep by my side, alive-alive-o, but, it must be admitted, not as ravenous as she would ordinarily be at this hour.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Death is an Unfortunate Side Effect

It seems that a street festival in Texarkana was ruined by a rain of dead and dying pigeons. While one observer notes that the pigeons "dive bombed" the proceedings, I get the feeling they weren't attacking, merely dying. Apparently a nearby bank had hired an exterminator to take care of their pigeon problem, and the exterminator scattered poisoned corn on the roof of the bank. The company said "its goal with the treated corn was to sicken pigeons so they would leave the rooftop. Death was sometimes an unfortunate side effect." Especially if you're the pigeon.

"Hey, you know what, Jerry? I'm feeling a little sick--maybe it was that corn on the bank roof? I'm gonna knock off early and go home to the nest."

"Me too. Remind me never to order the corn there. I thought there was something wrong--got a funny taste in my mouth."