Friday, September 16, 2005

An Invitation

Okay, despite my best efforts to filter spam, I still get five or six pieces of garbage in my inbox every day. My favorite this morning had a nearly-irresistible subject header: "Invitation to Act as Next-of-Kin." I was hoping it was an invite to act as mourner at a high-end funeral, something Dickensian involving horses with black plumes drawing the hearse. Or at perhaps an opportunity to appear at the reading of a will and sob distractingly at the mention of the Dear Departed's name. Or at least one of those romantic-comedy situations where someone needs an instant family member to a) impress boss; b) impress new flame; c) impress INS officers.

But no, it was just the usual scam letter. Although I was pleased to be introduced to the letter's author: "Before proceeding,I wish to introduce myself a barrister at law and the principal consultant of Iwuson & Associates (LEGAL RACTITIONER)." I mean, how many letters from Legal Ractitioners do I get in a day?

Would have been fun to be a mourner for hire, though.


Blogger Jonquil said...

Think of the fun you'd have had with the hat with the long crape streamers!

8:54 AM  
Blogger Madeleine Robins said...

And mourning jewelry, jet and silver with little bits of the Dear Departed's hair bound in!

Of course, as a Mourner for Hire (oh, I'm seeing "This Tear for Hire" on the cover of a pulp paperback) I suppose I wouldn't be eligible to go into half-mourning later. Black gloves would be it.

9:02 AM  
Blogger Gregory Feeley said...

"Legal Ractitioner" recalls irresistably the author of "The Policeman's Beard is Half Constructed" an early 80s text-writing computer program named, I belive, "Racter." Now he has gone highbrow, and his activities are called Ractitioning.

Oh, does this date me? I'm sorry.

12:40 PM  
Blogger C. F. Blog said...

Sounds to me that you are just getting ready for All Hollow’s Eve...

12:56 PM  

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